I met my three-year-old daughter’s best friend in Target. I heard a mother sweetly calling, “Mary Ruth… Mary Ruth…” from one row over. To the little blond girl with a unicorn purse, I asked, “Are you Mary Ruth? Do you know Maddie?” I knew the answer would be yes; my own daughter frequently told stories about her friend “Mary Roof.” That encounter was where I met “Mary Roof’s Mudder,” who would become one of my good friends.
It was the beginning of a decade-long journey. Recently, I invited that same friend to a function at my youngest daughter’s preschool. Though her children had long since graduated, she happily attended. As we sat there, she turned to me and said, “Your school becomes your community.” She was right. On the wall in front of us, the church had hung a simple reminder: “Choose Community.”
When parents think about where their child will go to school, they rarely think about going there themselves. They don’t consider the friendships they might forge, or that they might become close with the teachers. Parents don’t intentionally choose a preschool as a community for themselves. But after ten years in the preschool circuit, I’m here to tell you: you should.
I spent four years in high school, four in college, and three in graduate school. But I went to preschool for ten years. While each of my children was only there for a few seasons, I was the one who stayed the longest.
That school saw me through some of the most significant transitions of my life. We added two children to our family and said goodbye to two parents. Some of my hardest mornings were left at that drop-off line. We expect preschool to be a milestone for our children—and it was. But it was a milestone for me, too.
Half-day preschool programs are often underestimated. While many families require full-time childcare, there is a distinct value in the half-day model. It prioritizes the most critical developmental skill of that age: socialization. But just as much as our children need socialization, we do, too. We need to build our own bonds, vent our frustrations, and find the confidence to ask a stranger if we can sit with them on the playground bench.
Preschool is a fleeting and trying season, full of milestones. Most of them the children won’t remember. But I will. What better reason to use preschool as an investment in parents, too. We don’t have to navigate all this alone. We could see that classroom as about a dozen other parents who are in the same boat.
As we close out another graduation season, let’s remind the next generation of parents to lean into their school community. It is your village. In a few years, you’ll realize that the most important things you learned at preschool weren’t just for the kids—they were for you. Just like my children, I made all my friends at preschool.
—Meg Strickland is a wife and mother of three girls.
