It recently snowed here in our area, and when I say snowed, I mean it SNOWED. Being a girl raised in Florida, this was more snow than I have ever seen. If I can just be honest with you all, I had my expectations up as high as the forecasted snow amounts. I imagined our little family playing out in the snow, drinking hot chocolate, sitting around a fire and watching movies together as the glorious white snow fell from the sky. Guess what did not happen, any of that… not one single thing on my snow day expectations list. Do you know what else didn’t happen? Communication. I never communicated my Hallmark Channel inspired snow day list to anyone else, specifically my husband. So, when nothing on my list was checked off, I was mad. Just flat out mad. I started to see pictures of my friend’s checking things off my list with their little families and I just let it fester inside of me until I was so angry with my husband, but he had no idea what he did wrong. But he was aware something was wrong by my passive aggressive comments and looks, I am sure.
I wish I could tell you all that this is the first time that I have done this, but unfortunately it is not. I have been here before. I know better. Here is what I am continuing to learn, over and over again. Communication is KEY in a relationship, especially in marriage.
Have you ever found yourself in a spot like this? It’s awful, isn’t it? Do you know what solved this problem for us this time and every time before? An apology, communication, and grace. Marriage is hard. Being a parent is hard. It all takes work and grace… so much grace. Did I want to apologize and have a hard conversation? Not in the least bit, again, I just wanted to play in the snow with my hot chocolate. But I am so grateful that we did communicate through it, because you know what? The snow is still here today… and we have another chance to do this better.
Maybe it’s not a snow day for you, maybe you are dealing with some other unmet expectations. I encourage you to search your heart a little and ask yourself if you really communicated those expectations to anyone? If you find that your answer is no, then have that hard conversation, ask for forgiveness and extend grace. It is so much better than harboring bitterness, especially when it comes to your marriage. You’ve got this mama. You can do hard things, and I know that because you do, all the time.
~ Ashley McClain is a Wife to Bobby, Mom to Charlie, General Manager of CTN-WHTN Nashville and Host of – What If? Moments for Moms aired nationally on the Christian Television Network. Currently surviving on Grace and Coffee… lots and lots of Coffee.
