I was invited to speak at a women’s conference in Oregon and the overall theme is “Made for More.” Immediately, God gave me the title for my presentation: “You are More Than Your Divorce.” For anyone reading who has walked the divorce path (and for those of you who have not, I’m sure you love “more than” a few people that have), it is critical that we do not allow the experience of a past divorce to paralyze our future. God can truly use all things for His good when we seek Him and allow Him to. Don’t get me wrong, I am not an advocate for divorce. I am an advocate for Godly marriage and family where everyone can live and enjoy a whole and healthy home. When couples are in crisis, I always recommend marital counseling and to invest in resources to sustain the marriage. Sometimes there are circumstances beyond a person’s control that lead to a divorce and sometimes our human pain and sin can lead a person to divorce. The hope we have on the other side is that God is never “done” with us. We are always a work in progress. He is the Comforter and the Sustainer of all life. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).”
God does not remove His love from us because of a divorce and He does not cast us aside. He is willing and able to forgive, and we can all be made new, no matter the past mistakes or grievances. If you have been struggling with your identity as a divorced person, I encourage you to set that aside and dig into the Word. Seek the Truth of what the Word says you are. Look to the Bible for your identity. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy and we run “invisible tapes” in our head about the past, including labels or hurtful words others may have said to us. We need to switch out those tapes and rewrite the words we speak about ourselves and to ourselves. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).” I am twenty-two years down the road, maybe a few years ahead of others, and I have seen and know that God is faithful and He does not remove His love. “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).”
A companion on the road,
Tammy Daughtry, MMFT – Founder, Coparenting International and The Center for Modern Family Dynamics
