You Just Need to Let Go
I learned a lot from a recent Bridges guest named Donna. She had two adult children who were battling substance abuse. As a concerned mom, she wanted to jump in and get her adult children back on the right road.
Donna tried everything she knew. She prayed. She talked with Christian counselors. She talked with her children. There were many conversations, arguments, and conflicts yet nothing Donna did yielded a positive result (at least as far as Donna could see).
You Just Need to Let Go
One day Donna decided to go to the altar for prayer. As she explained her situation the pastor prayed and then he said, “You just need to let go”. Donna was irritated by the comment. She also wondered what exactly it means to “let go and let God”.
The “let go” comment catapulted Donna into finding out how she could let go of her children who were clearly in serious trouble. Donna joined Nar-Anon. A 12-step group for friends and families of people struggling with addiction. It was this group that helped Donna understand that letting go was about trusting and leaving all the things that are outside of our responsibility/control into the loving hands of our Heavenly Father.
She said No to Requests for Money
Donna had to stop enabling. She had to say no to any requests for money. She drew boundaries and stuck with them. This was hard and she second-guessed herself a lot. Thankfully, she stayed the course.
Once she let go of what she couldn’t control she was better able to recognize what she could do. She found that she could show her children love and support while being clear that she would not condone substance abuse. She also prayed and reached out to other trusted friends to join her in prayer. Donna learned that letting go isn’t an “I don’t care attitude” or “just let things be” Instead, letting go is an active state of trust that requires faith and bravery.
As Donna started to live from trust, faith, and bravery she started to grow closer to God. She was learning lessons from her very challenging situation. She shared with me that it was the journey with her children that really helped her see how much love God has for all of us.
Donna was clear as I talked with her that there was no easy fix. When her two adult children were in active addiction, she was understandably very concerned and prayerful. For Donna learning to let go meant that she no longer allowed the addiction to control her life. She stopped rescuing her children and instead leaned on God to comfort her and reach her children.
It took years before Donna saw the prayers for her children answered. Many prayers, many tears, and many trials. But God proved faithful, and Donna now enjoys a healthy relationship with her children. Donna recently became a grandmother, and she says that is her greatest joy.
I asked Donna if she could share one thing with parents in similar circumstances. Donna paused…a long pause…and she said you just need to let go and let God.
Today’s Secret from the Studio: If it’s something outside of your control – Let Go and Let God.
Monica Schmelter is the host of Bridges on Christian Television Network. She is the recipient of the Women in Film and Television, Industry Cornerstone Award. When she’s not in the studio she enjoys spending time with her family. You can watch Bridges on demand by visiting bridgeswithmonica.com.
