Estrangement from an adult child is one of the most painful and disorienting experiences a parent can face. It often carries a unique blend of grief, confusion, and regret. On this episode of Hope for the Journey, guest Terry Squires—author and speaker—has experienced this journey personally and offers a compassionate perspective on how parents can continue holding on to hope even when reconciliation feels distant or uncertain.
One of the most important truths to acknowledge is that estrangement is not a simple problem with a quick solution. For many parents, the instinct is to fix things immediately, to reach out repeatedly, or to search for the “right words” that will restore the relationship. While these desires come from a place of love, Terry Squires gently reminds listeners that prayer is essential and only God can bring restoration.
You Don’t Have To Pretend Everything Is Okay. Hope, in this context, does not mean denying reality or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it is a steady, grounded belief that restoration with God’s help is possible—even if the timeline is unknown. It is choosing to remain open-hearted without becoming consumed by the outcome. This kind of hope requires resilience and, often, a shift in perspective. One key step is focusing on your own spiritual growth. Rather than centering every thought on the estranged relationship, parents are encouraged to reflect on God’s Word and connect with other parents who understand. Resist the temptation to blame yourself as there are no perfect parents. At the same time if there are things you need to ask your adult children forgiveness for then do so if that is possible.
Another vital part is learning to live fully in the present. Estrangement can place life “on hold,” as if joy must wait until reconciliation happens. But hope flourishes when life continues to move forward. Investing in friendships, pursuing meaningful activities, and nurturing one’s spiritual and emotional well-being are not acts of forgetting—they are acts of sustaining.
Letting Go Of Control Is Painful – But It Brings Freedom. Terry Squires also emphasizes the importance of releasing control. Parents cannot dictate their adult child’s choices, feelings, or readiness to reconnect. Letting go of that control is painful, but it can also be freeing. It allows love to exist without pressure and creates an environment where reconciliation, if it comes, is genuine rather than coerced.
Finally, hope is sustained through prayer—both for the child and for yourself. Self-compassion acknowledges the deep pain of estrangement without shame. Compassion for the child recognizes that they, too, may be navigating their own struggles and perspectives. Holding on to hope in estrangement is not easy, but it is possible. It is a quiet, enduring posture of the heart. A posture of trust that, even in the distance, God is at work and restoration is still possible. Today’s Secret from the Studio: Letting Go is Painful but it brings Freedom Here’s a tighter version that keeps the heart and humor:
—With nearly 30 years at Christian Television Network, Monica Schmelter has dedicated her career to sharing stories that inspire hope and transformation. She is the host of Bridges on Christian Television Network and the Hope for the Journey podcast. You can learn more at bridgeswithmonica.com.
