“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
Do you remember that from your childhood? It was a response from our parents when we were verbally attacked, criticized, or otherwise made to feel bad by what someone said to us. It was probably helpful in nudging us off our hurt feelings. However, like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, it was untrue.
The truth lies in the opposite direction. While words may not break our bones, they can have a huge impact on our lives. On one hand, they can build us up and give us confidence and dedication, and on the other, they can generate feelings of inferiority, a defeated self-image and lead to depression and passivity.
Words are one of our most powerful tools for living a life of fulfillment and purpose.
The Bible is full of passages that remind of this powerful truth and encourage us to choose our words wisely. For example, the Bible is God’s Word. Not Gods feelings, not God’s actions, not God’s intentions. It is God’s word for a reason.
In addition, God spoke the world into existence. It was His words that formed creation. (Genesis 1, NIV)
And, Jesus is called the Word. ..
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was fully God. (John 1: 1, NIV)
In case there is any confusion, Jesus makes clear how important words are to God: 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)
As with so many other passages, we often relegate the idea to the realm of ‘church” and give ourselves a pass when it comes to our behavior in the marketplace. But there is no exception here for people in the marketplace. No where does it say, “This applies to your life, except your business or career. You don’t have to obey this on the job.”
Applications For Christian Businesspeople
If we are going to be serious about our Christianity in the marketplace, then we should develop some guidelines to help us use good words well. Here are some suggestions:
- Words are both spoken and written.
In our world of instantaneous electronic communication, many of us use far more words in writing via text, email and social media posts, than we speak orally. Words we choose to use in electronic communications may last for decades.
- Make sure that your vision, mission and values statements refer to God’s ownership of the business.
Your business is not your business. It belongs to God, and you should say that, in writing, on the foundational documents. That way, everyone who sees those documents will know where you stand — reflecting the glory back to God.
- Be careful about using critical words.
There are, of course, times when we must correct someone. But we need to be careful about the words we choose and the way we deliver them. We all have memories of some critical words said to us that have lingered for decades.
Years ago, I came across the ” sandwich” method of delivering a critique. We teach it to people in our Sales Management course: It means that you sandwich the critique between two layers of positive reinforcement. Start with a layer of positive comment, add your slice of critique, and then end with another layer of positive words.
So, for example, you could say to a salesperson in a coaching moment after a sales call: “John you have a nice, easy way with people that makes them comfortable with you. (Positive words) However, when you called our competitor a ‘fool” you exhausted any good will you had. Never speak badly about a competitor. It puts the customer in an awkward situation. (The heart of the critique) You learn quickly, so I’m sure you won’t do that again. (More positive words.)
- Be slow and thoughtful about using judgmental words.
In our world of social media and sound bites, it’s easy to fall into the trap of following the pack and making judgements about people and situations. Even worse is when we do it without any good information as a basis. Every day, thousands, if not millions, of people rush to judgement expressed in social media posts. As Christians we understand those are words for which the writer will “have to give an account on the day of judgment for every empty word.”
- Be slow to react and respond emotionally.
Since we can immediately react, via text or email, the temptation is always to quickly respond to something with which we take offense. All too often, those harsh and emotional words make the situation worse. Do we really want to “give an account on the day of judgement” for those words we fired off in an emotional reaction to an email?
- Plan to use good words to encourage someone.
Suppose we were to make a list of the people in our sphere of influence on the job, and methodically deliver good words of support and encouragement to each. And then, wait a month, and repeat. What would be the impact on those people and on your influence with them?
Remember the classic business book, “The One-Minute Manager” which advocated walking around, finding someone doing something well and complementing him/her for it. That was the gist of the book. And that simple, easy -to-implement advice can and has made huge differences for those who implement it.
Here’s one summary rule. Think about what we say or write before we do it. Keep in mind that we will give an account for every word.
Dave Kahle has been a Bible teacher, elder, house church leader, short-term missionary and Christian executive roundtable leader. For 30 years, he has been an authority on sales and sales systems, having spoken in 47 states and eleven countries. He has authored 13 books, including The Good Book on Business. His books have been translated into eight-plus languages and are available in over 20 countries. He holds a B. of ED from the University of Toledo, and MA in Teaching from Bowling Green University.
He and Coleen split their time between Grand Rapids, Michigan and Sarasota, Florida. He is a father, foster father, adoptive father and grandfather to 14 children.
