Where are the Fathers - Young black men having a meal in a restaurant | Free Issue of the Nashville Christian Family magazine - Free Christian Magazine


I don’t remember you hugging me. I don’t remember you kissing me. Did you tell me how much you loved me? Did you ever toss me up in the air and swing me around by my arms? Did you ever tickle me, making me laugh until I almost peed on myself? I don’t remember you reading to me or telling me stories about your childhood. We never had a pillow fight, snowball battle, or built a sandcastle. I do remember you buying me a bike, that mom helped me learn to ride. I do remember you telling me you were going to take me for my first haircut, but I’d still be waiting if grandma had not taken me. You told me you would be at my 8th grade championship basketball game; I kept looking, hoping you would walk through the gym doors, but you never showed. You promised you would meet mom and I at juvenile court. I’ve learned to have no expectations.  Of course, something came up and you could not make it.

As they put the hand cuffs on me and took me into custody; I could look into her eyes and could feel her pain. We had just buried her sister’s son two days ago who had been sexually abused by his stepfather and the shame and pain of it, caused him to take his own life.  As she sat in the court room and wept I could hear the anger and agony in her voice …”I tried to tell his father how much he needed him.”

Do you have the memories of your father telling you how special you were? Affirming your special gifts and talents. Did he have a special name for you and your siblings, like …Pretty girl, Monie Pie, Happy boy, Mighty Manny, Princess etc? Do you have fond memories of family trips, outings, reunions, and times you would sit around the dinner table and laugh? 

The dinner table was always central in our family.  One time dad was sitting at the head of the dinner table enjoying the evening meal, when suddenly he burst out laughing. We were all sitting at the dinner table, and someone pooted letting out the after-effects of the chili beans and rice dinner we had just eaten.   Dad laughed so hard, that the whole family erupted into laughter until tears ran down our cheeks.

 When everyone finally settled down, he quietly, looked at mom with a playful grin on his face, and said “I’m sure you feel better after expelling that gas but next time let’s regulate such activity to designated private places”.  To which mother responded,” I don’t know why you are looking at me when everyone around the table knows it was you who let it out!” There were no cell phones allowed at our dinner table. It was a special time for family to interact with one another.

 (I trust you will embrace the following truths of family and fatherhood).

Every human on earth is a trichotomy; spirit, body and soul. These three components come together through conception, and determine the person we become. Our spirit comes directly from God our Father. We know this to be true because the bible gives reference to this in Ephesians 1: 4, “He has chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love.” The location of the human spirit is also referenced in Ecclesiastes 12:7, “Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.” Our spirit has been abiding in God awaiting the appointed time to be born on earth with its’ designated soul and body.

The human embryo is formed when the sperm of the father germinates with the egg of the mother. At conception the child’s body begins to form. The first organ to form after conception is the heart. The first of the five senses to develop is the hearing a child hears inside of its’ mother’s womb around 12 weeks.

A child in the womb can hear exterior sounds at 24 weeks. This is why when Mary the mother of Yeshua (Jesus) was greeting her cousin Elizabeth …the baby heard the salutation, while in Elizabeth womb (John was at the 6 month period) he leaped and his mother Elizabeth prophesied.  (Luke 1:41-44, “And it came to pass, that when Elizabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And whence is this to me that the mother of my Lordshould come to me?”

Onnie Kirk, Founder and Executive Director, Family Foundation Fund

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