Single parenting is a journey that comes along with many unexpected challenges. One of the hard parts of being a single parent is sharing our children at the big holidays. Usually, I recommend that parents rotate the whole holiday instead of splitting it right down the middle. I also remind parents that you can celebrate any time of the year! I know that in my family, I tried to view all the holidays as a flexible format that could happen anytime, not just on the actual date.
One of the hardest things to manage during the holidays is alone time. When our kids are at the other parents’ house, and we are alone – that is a critical part of single parenting. I encourage single parents to make a plan ahead of time to do something meaningful on each day the kids are away. Consider activities like volunteering at a homeless shelter or volunteering at a senior citizen’s home. Many organizations need help this time of year and being part of the bigger community is always a blessing. If you know other single parents who are without their children at the same time, consider having a potluck and invite others that may be appreciate the invitation. Look for older people as well who may be without extended family nearby.
And more than anything else, having a happy goodbye helps children during the holidays. Kids need your permission to say goodbye and to know that you are supportive of them spending time with the other family. I encourage parents to give your kids your “emotional permission” to love everyone and especially to say goodbye to you at handoffs. When kids can come and go and not worry about their single parents being sad or alone, then kids will thrive between homes during the holidays.
One of the greatest “gifts” a single parent can give their children is the true freedom to love everyone in their life 365 days a year and the flexibility to enjoy holidays on different calendar days along the way!
For more ideas and articles about single parenting, or to take the “One Heart, Two Homes” video course, please come to our website at www.CoparentingInternational.com –
Tammy Daughtry, Founder of CoParenting International. For more free resources please see www.CoParentingInternational.com
