There’s a lot of talk about masculinity today: what it is, what it isn’t, and why so many guys seem unsure of who they’re supposed to be. You can see it in school, sports, relationships, and online. Many young men drift through life with little direction, unsure how to carry themselves or what it actually means to be a man. Somewhere along the way, the idea of real masculinity got blurry.
Among all the confusion about what masculinity should look like, Christian men often stand out because their model comes from a different source entirely. They don’t base their mindsets on trends or whatever the culture decides is acceptable that month. Instead, it comes from Scripture. And that difference builds an entirely different foundation of who these men are.
I have personally seen men in my generation and above avoid responsibility. They dodge leadership and commitment. They choose comfort over challenge. It’s not that they’re incapable; it’s that the world encourages ease and self-focus. You see guys who never make decisions, never take initiative, or never step into hard situations. Strength becomes optional instead of expected.
Christian men are rooted in something different. They’re called to a type of strength that isn’t loud or aggressive. They don’t ignore responsibility because they are called to a higher purpose. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) gives one of the clearest expectations: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Even for guys who aren’t dating, this sets a standard that love should involve sacrifice, not convenience. That kind of responsibility shapes a man.
While many guys operate on shifting values and doing whatever feels right in the moment, Christian men follow principles that stay the same. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) lists traits they’re expected to grow in: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These traits aren’t about being perfect. They’re about choosing character over impulse.
Leadership is another key difference. The world often teaches men to lead by being dominant or impressive. But Jesus flipped that idea completely when He said, “The greatest among you will be your servant” (Matthew 23:11 NIV). Christian leadership means stepping up when things are tough, not when attention is available. It means helping others instead of waiting for recognition.
Purpose might be the biggest separator. Many young men drift because they don’t know what they’re moving toward. Christian men are taught to trust something bigger than themselves. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart… and he will make your paths straight.” That sense of direction shapes how they handle anger, pressure, temptation, and relationships. It gives them a backbone.
This isn’t a claim that non-Christian men lack value. Plenty are strong and reliable. But the Christian man has a blueprint that asks more from him. He is called to be like Christ and exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. His foundation is in likeness to the perfect man.
If Christian men live out these principles consistently, they won’t have to argue about masculinity. They’ll demonstrate it.
Karys Demos is a recent Auburn graduate. She writes about faith, character, and what it means to navigate today’s culture as a young Christian.
Karys, thank you for writing this. As a father of two young daughters, this topic means a lot to me. Your article brings much-needed clarity to what real, Christ-centered masculinity looks like in a world full of mixed messages.
I appreciate how you point out the difference between masculinity shaped by culture and masculinity shaped by Scripture. The call to responsibility, servant leadership, and the fruit of the Spirit is exactly the kind of example I hope my daughters see in the future husbands.
Your writing is a powerful reminder that true strength is sacrificial, purposeful, and anchored in Christ. Thank you for speaking truth into such an important conversation.