Like most mothers and fathers, we are acutely aware of our own flaws and shortcomings as parents. Compounding the problem, we are facing the fact that our small children will soon be
adolescents and, before we’re ready for it, they’ll be grown and off on their own. So, in light of how precious our children.
1. Praying for them
Children need to hear their father and mother praying with them and for them. No time is a
bad time to pray with our children. But there are two times we find especially conducive to praying with our children: dinner time and bedtime. At dinner, there is no set pattern
for who prays. It might be one of the parents, one of the children, all of the children, or the whole family. But it is a great time to be thankful together, to talk with God together. At bedtime, we have the happy opportunity to pray with each child individually, listening to their concerns and watching their little minds whirl as they try to communicate with God.
2. Talking with them at the dinner table
Research confirms and illumines what people have always known intuitively, that dinner time conversation is immensely profitable for children. It boosts their vocabulary, improves their school grades, makes them healthier, decreases their chances of clinical depression, and strengthens the bond with their parents and siblings. Fortunately, it can also be a lot of fun for the parents. In fact, dinner time is one of our favorite times of the day.
3. Telling them we love them
Every day, we try to slow down and hit “pause” long enough to look each child in the eyes and tell them that we love them. That we will always love them. Whether they obey or disobey. Whether they succeed at a task or fail at it. No matter what. We will always love them. Our children know that this is meaningful; we hope it will be etched in their memories and remind them of God’s love.
4. Disciplining them
As much patience and emotional energy as it takes to discipline our children consistently (and as often as we fail to do so), we know it is very important for their future well-being. We want to steer them away from sinful desires and toward their need for God. We are especially concerned to discipline them for lying, disobedience, and disrespect. Through the discomfort a child experiences when they are disciplined, they might be persuaded to refrain from sin in the future when the consequences of sin will be much more painful. We know that if we can discipline them consistently and lovingly—reminding them that we love them no matter what they do or don’t do—we will never regret it.
5. Bringing them into the community of Jesus
We like what our children learn at church. They learn Bible stories and truths at church that we haven’t yet taught them at home. They learn to love God in a room full of people, many of whom are different from us economically, socially, culturally, or racially. They build friendships that will encourage them in their walk with Jesus. At church, they learn who God is, who they are, what went wrong with the world, who will fix the world, and how they can be a part of the greatest story of all—God redeeming humanity and restoring the world.
6. Reminding them of the gospel
We want to find as many ways as possible to remind them of the gospel. The gospel is the announcement that Jesus Christ’s birth, teaching, miracles, death and resurrection give us a glimpse of, and opens up to us, God’s coming Kingdom. Jesus will return one day to overthrow evil and establish his perfect kingdom for eternity. The gospel calls for us to believe in Christ, trust Christ, and repent of our sins; if we obey this call, we will live with him eternally in his Kingdom.
The beauty of the gospel is that Jesus “traded places” with us. He lived the sinless life that we should have lived, and died the death that we deserve to die. He took our guilty record, died for it, and offers us his perfect record in return. That is why the apostle Paul declared that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1).
In relation to parenting, that means that he does not condemn us for our flaws and shortcomings as parents. We—Bruce and Lauren—are often made aware of our imperfections as parents. (We’re not even consistent with these “dozen things we will never regret doing.” Schedules change at the last minute. Children get sick. Parents get tired. Et cetera.) So we put our trust in him, rather than in ourselves, as we try to make the most of these moments before our small children become adolescents. Because, before we’re ready for it, they’ll mature into young adults and go off on their own.
Bruce Riley Ashford, Jr.
THIS ARTICLE WAS FIRST PUBLISHED BY FOX NEWS
