From the moment we wake up, we begin to make choices. Some of these choices are intentional, in other words, well thought-out; the rest will be unintentional, what I call, “going through the motions”. Both can be positive or negative, based on truths, falsehoods, and misconceptions. The one thing that makes humanity a complicated species is that we can make decisions that go against our natural instincts, as well as the natural order needed to operate functionally as a society. Every action will always affect me directly and will also touch the lives of others indirectly. Even as an intelligent being, we cannot seem to grasp, just because we can, does not mean that we should.
The human race has struggled for millennia, and will continue to struggle, with this one major problem until the day we stop being selfish. This malady happens with both our intentional and unintentional acts. The majority of our unintentional actions will plague us most in our younger years but they can linger as intentional habits long into our life. Our intentional actions give us an opportunity to do what is right, but this takes courage and a bit of altruism. Our desires, culture, and peer pressure often steer us in the wrong direction. These “steering currents” manifest themselves through three areas of mortal weakness: Careless decision making, Destructive habits, and Lack of moral judgment. These result from flaws or cracks in our free will and even with this being the case, by building up our experience level, we should learn that every, and I mean every action, has consequences. Yet, many in society, deny these lessons solely on the grounds that “We want, what We want”, and some are too weak to deny themselves. This becomes a societal problem because we are not the only one affected by our selfish actions, they affect us all.
This communal sharing of consequences, makes your problem, my problem. If everyone was mentally and emotionally strong enough to just admit that their poor and harmful behavior was intentional acts, based solely on their selfish desires, the outcome would not be as harmful or corrupt to the family or society. Instead, most people today try to make us believe it’s not their fault at all. They use comments like, “This is how I was made.”, “It is a disease or medical condition.”, “I have always been this way.”, or “I can’t help myself.” If you or
someone you loved were ever addicted to something, ever used alcohol in excess, or had harmful tendencies, you or they have likely said those words. These phrases, and many more just like them, are no more than lies intended to misdirect blame. For the one using these phrases, it makes them feel better about themselves, relieving them of any blame for the negative consequences resulting from their continued selfish decisions. For those of us who love the users, when we begin to believe their lies, we are the one with the deeper degree of shame. It forces us to support and be complicit in their deceit. We then, unintentionally, begin to spread their lies as the truth; further corrupting society as a whole.
This “game” plays out most noticeably during large gatherings as these uncomfortable situations come to the forefront. The negative consequences cannot stay hidden, so there is no valid reason to hide the truth or believe the deceit but many try. Instead, we must all face the truth, stop the insanity from spreading, and quit living the lies. It is only once the truth is revealed that healing can take place. Yes, the one causing the chaos will feel shame, and that is the appropriate response for poor behavior. It will speed up the healing process. Shame is a healthy emotion when experienced by the one who sinned.
We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we have all felt shame for actions we should not have done. By living the lies, no forgiveness is sought, no vows are made to change our ways, and the healing process never begins.
If this is my last post, I want all to know there was only one purpose for all that I have written; to have made a positive difference in the lives of others.
Anthony “Tony” Boquet, the author of “The Bloodline of Wisdom, The Awakening of a Modern Solutionary”
