More and more parents are realizing the importance of mealtime. But a shared family meal is about more than food. Children can learn new and essential skills at mealtime.
Manners. Kids learn to say “please” and “thank you” when asking for a dish. Other table manners could include keeping elbows off the table, sitting straight, and waiting to speak after swallowing food. Learning these basic manners will help kids feel confident in spaces outside of the home.
Social cues. If two people are talking, guide your kids to watch for clues about when a conversation will end or where to interject. Eye contact is essential when speaking or listening to another person. Of course, all phones and toys should be put away so the focus is on each other, not objects.
Conversation. This can be a time to discuss complex topics. You’ll want the kids to listen graciously and not interrupt. You also are teaching them to think critically before speaking. (I provide weekly conversation starters on my Social Media accounts.)
Building up one another. Encourage others during the week. On birthdays, go around the table and have each person say something kind to build up the birthday boy or girl. You can do this for adults, too.
Prayer. Meals are a natural time for kids to learn to pray. Start with rote or memorized prayers and branch out to personalized ones. Pray not only for the food but also for immediate concerns.
Having fun. The table should be where the family can relax and enjoy each other. Our family implemented a “No Manners” night. I knew from these nights that our kids knew their manners because they broke every one of them.
Trying new foods. If you’re a busy mom, you may want to skip this. But trying foods from other cultures can expand the palette and prepare your kids to make or eat unusual dishes.
Set examples of a healthy marriage. Your kids are watching you. They can feel tension but also sense a deep, abiding love. Leave your private discussions for later when it’s just you. Kids should see Dad serving Mom and Mom serving Dad. When there’s a healthy marriage, peace reigns.
Bible reading. A friend used the breakfast table for a time of family devotion. Everyone arrived at a specific time, and they read and discussed the text. As the kids grew and schedules interrupted this time, the mom left the devotion on the table for the kids to read, and they discussed it later.
The purpose is not to implement all nine ideas at one meal but to try one or more to create a safe and welcoming space around the table for everyone.
Sally Cressman is the author of The Dance of Easter. She posts family conversation starters on Facebook and Instagram each Thursday.
